Weddings are made in heaven. But the life after that is definitely on earth. And if the couple fails to live a life together in harmony and understanding, then it is time to separate. And to reach a divorce settlement is the next priority. If the husband and wife could reach an amicable settlement to which both can agree upon, the better and smooth will be the separation. But it won’t be so always. There can be some points of disagreement such as property, parenting and support or a financial dispute that stands in the way of reaching a settlement. But such instances should be a time when each person’s common sense takes the driver’s seat, pushing emotions and egos to the back burner. Remember, the best and most balanced settlements can be made by the couple only. Legal intervention should be sought only as a last resort. After all there is no guarantee that the solution decided on by the judge would be an agreeable one. In such case, at least one may have to content with a less satisfying share.
If the couple is in a good enough relation that they can sit together for some time and talk on the divorce settlement, then that is the ideal way to start the procedure than relying on any lawyer or attorney. Sit down and decide and discuss on all matters, including finance and parental rights, across the table and figure out the points which you are finding it difficult to agree upon. If both can compromise a bit on finances, then you could go for an uncontested divorce. But that does not mean that either of the couple should compromise on their legal rights. Keep in mind that, in divorce settlements, if once committed on a point, it is difficult to change it later. It implies that, if either of the couple feels that he/she is making too many compromises, then the assistance of an attorney should be sought. That is, a lot depends upon the resolve and knowledge of oneself in the whole issue. And remember, we are attempting to avoid lawyers while negotiating your divorce settlement, not to seek the help of one.
The issue, which you are not able to reach an agreement upon, should be analyzed to see what actually is standing in the way. The point here is that every truce agreed upon here should have been reached in a rational frame of mind. If anger, vengeance or the mind set to ‘win’ over the other spouse is clouding the mind frame, it is better to shed these emotional heavyweights before continuing with the settlement process. A stable frame of mind is vital in reaching an amicable agreement in divorce.
Still if the road block continues, one can seek the assistance of a professional mediator. Sometimes it is better to have a neutral third person to guide the discussion.
To reach a solution through mutual discussions or in the worse case, through a mediator, is by far better than settling the issues in a court and seeking out legal help to do so. Reaching a mutual agreement relieves one of the stress that otherwise would be weighing on him/her if to present his/her case in the court. Also, avoiding a lawyer saves lot of money in terms of fees and litigation charges. Remember, legal procedures are drawn out and will take some time before a solution is reached.
Whether to take the legal route (seeking the assistance of a lawyer) or reach the divorce settlement themselves is a decision to be made by the parting couple. Either way, it is them who are going to enjoy or suffer the consequences. But mind you, an amicable settlement out side the court leaves no bad taste in either of the couple’s mouth. Such an approach gives the couple more control over their case, better communication relation with each other and above all, a more friendly circumstance for the children (if any) to adjust emotionally to the change in offing. Let’s make things better!